Some people have
naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more
confident. Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence
really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So, self confidence
means:
1. Being calm :
For every situation in life you need
to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional 'leakage' into a
experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence
when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.
2. Being cool :
The second part of self confidence is
about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be 'cool' in a situation really
means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate
uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.
3. Not
being too concerned with what
others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be
like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your
imagination? That's how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your
imagination so much. I've long since stopped bothering to imagine what others
think of me because so often I've turned out to be wrong.
4. Being
specific - where do you want
confidence? 'Confidence' is meaningless until you tie it to something specific.
You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light
on and off. So you don't need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want
in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want
confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them
down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.
5.
Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work
towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do
to bring about the completion of that task. If you've tried to recall someone's
name but can't, hours later you'll often find their name pops into your head.
The 'trying to
recall' experience set the task or blueprint for your brain's future
subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you - when you
weren't thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to
start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your
subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6. Don't
task your mind with negatives.
Instead of: 'I don't want to screw up' (which sets the task of 'screwing up'
for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn't
work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you
a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.
7. Use
nature's goal-setter: Now you
understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to
know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly 'program' the right
blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully
imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will
be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for
relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3
simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1. Think specifically of the time/place/situation you
want to feel confident in. Remember 'confidence' doesn't mean anything until
you attach it to something specific.
2. Focus on words in your mind right now that describe
how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as 'calm',
'relaxed' or 'focused'. Remember your brain works on clear positive
instructions.
3. Close your eyes for as long as you like and think
about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it
in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right
blueprint or 'task' for your unconscious mind.
You can repeat
this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life
as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic CD or download that can make the
benefits even more powerful. So if you feel like you'd be blessed with less
confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using
your mind in the right way right now.
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